Daddy...the magic happy pill!

Daddy came home Saturday night and Ashton has been magically so happy since!  It's really nice to see him so happy!  Hope it lasts!

February Blur

February has been one big blur!  I feel like we need a do-over!  Olav's sister Anne-Britt died unexpectedly and daddy had to leave for nearly 3 weeks.  Talk about chaos at home!  While daddy was gone, poor Ashton got the stomach bug two times.  One time so badly, I thought I was going to have to go the emergency room with him.  Thankfully after throwing up for 8 hours straight, he finally settled down!

Ashton continues to struggle behaviorally.  He's frequently angry and moody.  He can be aggressive and mean.  Lately he has been in a name calling mode.  Makes me so sad.  We did start with a new counselor at Brooklane and she seems much more in touch with kids his age, so I am hopeful that she will be able to help us!

We has an IEP screening meeting for him this past week at school and they've agreed to do Functional Behavior Assessment on him, and create a Behavioral Intervention Plan for him.  I am not sure it will work as I feel like we've done a lot of this informally, but it will be important in the long run for this information to formally documented. 

We will also be going to the pediatrician this week to look at ADHD and possible medication.  Still not sure how I feel about all this, but I am also aware things are not improving but seem to be snowballing.  We also have an appointment with a nurse practitioner at Brooklane who deals in other medication besides ADHD, should they deem it is something else.  I guess time will tell.

I'd really like to get him through this school year, start first grade with a new teacher and see if things don't improve....if not go to plan b.  But I also realize that his self-esteem/self-worth is on the line as well!

Things have been rough with his sister Lily. He seems to have taken a lot of his aggression out on her.  Trying to physically harm her. 

Even though he continues to do nothing at school, at home he shows signs of learning.  I've been informally homeschooling him at night and he is reading on an instructional C level.  He apparently hates math at school, but appears to like it at home.  He seems very bright to me.  He has a large vocabulary and enjoys writing words and letters.  He also continues to love arts and crafts.  He always is wanting to do a craft!

He was playing basketball, but it was short lived as he got hit in the nose with basketball.  I've been trying to get him to go back, but so far no luck.  Hopefully with daddy home, he will be encouraged to try again!

He continues to go to gymnastics and awanna which he always says he doesn't want to do anymore, but once he is there he doesn't want to leave!  Thankfully those are the two area where he actually experiences the most social success!  And of course he LOVES his kindle!!!!  It's like the great pacifier!

Cover him in prayer day!

Today is cover Ashton in prayer day!  He has been really struggling at school.  We get reports home daily of a variety things he struggles with daily.  Today we are lifting him up to God.  Praying that God will give us clear direction as to what is best for Ashton!

Some days he loves us and says he loves us one hundred one thousand one million, the next minute he hates us and wishes we weren't in his family.  In some ways it's almost comical how he can switch so rapidly between the two.  Thankfully he is small and we take most of what he says with a grain of salt.  However, I must admit sometimes it's hard not to imagine the future if things don't change.  I am trying really hard to live in the present and not forecast into the behavior.

Today I read a scripture about how a praying mother can have an long shadow of influence on her children.  That is my prayer today.  That my prayers for Ashton will be heard and will be influential in his life!

I love this little guy so much!  He has so many gifts!  He's smart, amazingly articulate, active, and creative just to name a few!

So many things

First, I found information on Ashton's birthfather Ricky on facebook recently.  Man does he really favor him in appearance.

Rick Lane October 2016

I also found pictures of Ashton's newest 1/2 brother Aiden Ares Lane.  Ironically he was born in April as well, around April 1st 2016.  Man in some pictures they look very much alike.  It's freaky.

Aiden

Ashton

It hard to tell if Ricky is currently parenting, it looks like he was in the beginning, but there are not updated photos of him with the child of recent.  I guess time will tell.

Of course all this finding in some ways worries me.  The natural part of adoption is grief  and loss.  The loss of the first family or feelings of rejection or abandonment.   I just want to protect our little boy from all that!

It is the deepest prayer of my heart that Ashton will never feel unloved or abandoned.  That he will feel minimal grief and a loss, but a sense profound of peace that God works out all things for HIS good.

We recently started counseling at Brooklane for Ashton.  He had been having a very difficult time at school.  Thankfully he attends a Montessori school and they have been a lot more gracious than a more traditional school might be.  I fear if he was at a traditional school he would have been suspended already:(

I am hoping with some new interventions in place for after break that hopefully we'll see some progress.  The hard part as a parent is we find ourselves constantly questioning ourselves, what's the best thing to do for him.  Of course we only want the very best for him.  I guess time will tell, but it's hard not to have all the answers all up front.

Christmas with Ashton of course was very fun!  He received his favorite gift which was a little tykes indestructible remote control helicopter!  He was so excited for Christmas!  One of my favorite Ashtonism's from Christmas was we all got battery operated toothbrushes. He was so cute, he calls them "remote control" toothbrushes!  Now he loves to brush his teeth!

Ashton and his stocking "goodies"

Of course he continues to love to be outside!  Being outside is his "happy place".  So glad God put him in our family.  He fits just right!

Always an adventure

Parenting Ashton is always an adventure.  This week he decided to be "that kid" at his elementary school.  Complete with refusing to go to class, running and hiding in the school building with several teachers and administrators searching for him, and being mean to a peer by dumping paint all over him.  Thankfully, he had good days on Thursday and Friday!  Needless to say we have an appointment at Brooklane next week!  Little boys!

Poco a Poco

In Guatemala there is saying for Poco a Poco, it means little by little....step by step...and I am happy to report that at the current moment with incentives in place Ashton is improving in  his behavior both at home and school.  Last week his school called us in to follow up on the incident Ashton had had a few weeks ago threatening to bring a gun to school and shoot a student.  The meeting was much different that I anticipated.  They basically  told us that Ashton's behaviors where getting in the way of his learning and wanted to brainstorm how we help make him more successful.  So this week he started a new incentive program at school and he seems to be rising to the challenge. 

We also received his report card and had his parent teacher conference with his teacher Ms. Porter.  Even though he is frequently off task, amazingly he isn't too far behind.  His teacher reports that when he wants to he can read a level B book and can write using sound/letter correspondence.   She also says he is a leader and enjoys socializing with his peers!  He loves working with others!

Praying we can channel his gifts! :)

He has also been the little love bug lately...telling both daddy and me that he loves us!  Sometimes I just wish I could bottle up his 5 year old self!

Whirlwind October

Just love their expressions here!

October is always a fun month.  The kids had a great time dressing up and going trick-or-treating last night.  Of course Ashton was adorable as a Ninja turtle.  We really tore up Pop-Pop's neighborhood.  Ashton got so much candy his basket was too heavy and even cracked!  He was tired he fell asleep as soon as we got in the car to go home.

Ninja muscles

Behaviorally we have started Ashton on a new behavior chart and he seems to be rising to the challenge.  Hopefully we can keep up the consistency and we can extinguish some of those negative behaviors.

I continue to adore his kindergarten writing!  He spells his name and I love his S, it looks like a 3.  I don't want to correct it because it so dog gone cute!  Of course his name is note on this sample, but since it said I love mom, I just have to post it!  He also reading a little bit.  I think for the most part its a lot of memorization, but I can tell it's coming!

I love my mom and other things:)

Ashton recently got a new bunk bed (from Tia Colleen) and he has been quite happy sleeping on the top bunk!

Ashton in his bunk bed!

Both Ashton and Lily have attended art camps at the Delaplaine Art Center in Frederick and have made some pretty cool stuff!  Earlier this month they did a mixed media project.  Yesterday they did sugar skulls.

Mixed media

Last weekend we took Ashton and Lily to Diggerland in NJ.  I thought Ashton would love it!  He got to ride in a backhoe, operate a mini-digger, and drive a skid steer and dumper truck.  I think he was a happy boy!

Ashton and Daddy on the dumper truck

We also visited a fall festival with my sister.  Ashton had a fabulous time jumping on the jumping pillow and playing with his cousins in the corn maze.   They didn't have a pumpkin patch, but basically a collection of really big expensive pumpkins.   Of course  Ashton wanted one to carve.  Thankfully Daddy got in on the carving action, so with teamwork they were successful.

Ashton Daddy teamwork

Ashton's pumpkin