Visit to John Hopkins

Today I spent the day with our birthmother, taking her down to John Hopkins to meet with a specialized ob-gyn. Even though we have been acquainted with her , it was really nice to really begin to get to know her more intimately. She is a very lovely young woman.

While at Hopkins, with the counsel of the physican, she determined that due to some personal risk factors she will plan to transfer her care to Hopkins and actually deliver the baby there! The awesome thing about that, is originally she was told she would have to have a C-section due to previous medical history, but at Hopkins she will have a choice to deliver vaginally if she so desires. I think for her long term child bearing dreams that would definitely be the best for her. I wouldn't want her to choose adoption for this child and then not be able to have any more children in the future.

I have to admit that does make me nervous because what if she changes her mind. My sister told me it is one thing to have a baby surgically removed from you, it's a whole other thing to labor through and push that baby out of you. But I have to remember to submit myself to God and realize whatever the journey, He will be next to me. But I must say, Lord please keep her steadfast in her decision.

I just wish there was someway that this adoption could be a win-win for everyone. That the birthmother doesn't have to lose, so another family can gain. I would love to talk with anyone who has experienced different degrees of open adoption. On the one hand, I feel like she is my niece and her family is our extended family, but not really sure what that would look like in an open adoption.

The most awesome part today was being able to see the baby via sonogram and hear his heart beat! Absolutely amazing!!!! Our birthmom took the pictures home to show her mother, but she said she would give them us to afterward. That would be super awesome, but I don't want her to feel like she has too.

Anyway please continue to lift her up in prayer. Pray for her health. Pray that the rest of her pregnancy is uneventful. Pray that she remains steadfast in her decision to choose adoption for this child. Pray for her emotions and any sadness or grief she may experience. I just want to protect her from that.

Pray for us as we anxiously anticipate the time. Give us a sense of peace and calm as we go through the homestudy process. I have found myself nervous about the financial risk and the potential to lose it all. Again, I need to commit my fears to God.

Thank you Jesus, for your divine intervention in our lives. Help me to fear not (Isaiah 41:10).

Love,
Kim