Sunday, December 4, 2011

Busy, busy, busy



Ashton is officially BUSY! He is always on the go! He doesn't crawl quite yet, but you can tell it won't be too long.

He has begun to make some "talking" sounds. The most noticeable is "nen-ye". It's so cute.

This weekend Lily was away at Abuelita's house but Ashton got so excited when he saw her picture on the wall! Love it!

Over the thanksgiving holiday Ashton's biological maternal great grandmother got to meet him. As she said, it was bitter sweet. With his biological maternal grandmother's camera I told a picture of the 4 generations. Hopefully they will send me a copy of the photo so I can post it too.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Baby Mozart


I do believe Ashton has music in his soul! He loves music. I never forget when we went to see daddy play at a concert, it seemed like it he was rockin it out with his fist! He loves anything musical. Only time will tell, but daddy is hopeful that he has at least one other music aficionado in the family!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Baby Bubba on the move....


Well Ashton is 6 months now! Wow...so hard to believe. He is becoming more and more mobile. He frequently will roll from his back to his front. The other morning, I found him smiling at me while on his tummy! He also can move around a space. Olav has left him in one area, only to return a few minutes later to find him moved several feet from his original position. Can you say, here comes trouble! I suspect in the next few weeks we will see him sitting up independently and crawling around. And of course as usual sticking EVERYTHING in his mouth. He has now added Oatmeal to his repertoire of foods...so far so good. This weekend it is PEAS...yummy:)

His sleeping has been a bit off lately. He has been waking up frequently in the night and early morning. Fortunately when he does he is SO happy....no tears or fussiness at all, so in many ways is a delight to "feed him". In fact, I know I should probably let him continue to play in his bed, but sometimes I can't sleep until I know he will go back to sleep. We go to the doctor on Monday so I will be eager to hear what they say about sleep training.

Ashton is drooling and chewing hard on my fingers all the time. I keep joking that Lily is going to lose two teeth and Ashton is going to grown two teeth at the same time...wouldn't that be something!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Before Sept. escapes me...



Hard to believe it's already the middle of Sept. Where does that time go? Ashton is just a little over 5 months! He is so big!!! He still eats about every two hours. He continues my all time favorite baby squeals. If only I could bottle them forever. He squeals all the time, including the middle of the night and early in the morning when he is happy to see us! He is such a easy going happy baby! The only time he really cries is as if he is really hungry or super tired. People compliment him on his temperament all time! I hope this is fortelling of his future tempermant.

He has become quite adjusted to eating rice cereal now...and very frequently wants to try to control the spoon:). He also continues to sleep through the night intermittently. Mostly every other night give or take some.

I finally got a few pics of him smiling...it's so hard, because even though he smiles and laughs all the time, when I have the camera on him, all he wants to do is stare at the bright orange light...

He is getting super strong. He is great at holding his head up, loves to be on his tummy now, rolls himself over, and has begun to scoot backwards while on his tummy. I can sense mobility is right around the corner! We are in big trouble!

Friday, August 19, 2011

4 months

Wow hard to believe how fast time is flying. Baby A. went to the pediatrician yesterday. He is doing great! He weighs 14 lbs and 14 oz (40% percentile), His height is 25 1/2 inches (65% percentile).

Today we tried rice cereal with a spoon for the first time. After the intial bite I thought it might be a hit, but after bite number 2, he decided that the food was not coming fast enough and demanded a pacha! We got it on video so when he is 13 and eating us out of house and home we can show him how he rejected "real food" in his early days:) We'll try again later today!

He has continued to sleep through the night most days of the week. It has been really nice!!! Especailly since I am returning to work on Monday.

Monday I return to work and Tuesday Ashton goes to Ms. Helen's daycare. Big changes for everyone in the Gjerde household.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Happiness is baby squeals!

What a joy Ashton is! He is currently 3.5 months. He is getting so big! He continues to eat ALL the time (about every 2 hours)! Olav and I were saying at this rate he is going to be 7 feet tall:)

He had earned the nickname baby bobble head, for his adorable head bobs, but now his head is getting so much stronger I don't think he will be baby bobble head for too much longer!

He recently moved out of the basinett in our room and into his crib in his own room. The transition was much easier than anticipated thanks to daddy doing it while Lily and I were at the beach.

My ultimate favorite right now is the baby squeals. Ashton starts each day so happy and full of joy...he is frequently squealing and giggling with delight!

Ashton has found his hands and fingers and can occassionally self soothe himself by jamming his fist into his mouth!

The past two nights Ashton has slept through the entire night. From 9-5 the first night and 8-4 the second night. This evening though he could barely keep his eyes open at 7 p.m. so hopefully this string of nights continues!

He is also very close to rolling over...I can no longer put him on the bed and trust that he will stay in the same position!

So far baby A is such an easy going child. Being the 2nd child with a much older sibling, he frequently gets dragged around to wherever big sister Lily is...but he handles in for the most part with grace! I pray this is fortelling of a calm and easy going personality:)

Friday, July 1, 2011

Getting so big!



Baby A. is getting so big! It feels like he is hungry all the time! A few weeks ago were a little rough with constant crying, but now that period has past and he has been an angel! So happy and content. Smiling! Really enjoying him! Plus he has begun to develop a routine for the night time, which has been really helpful! Some nights he will sleep up to 6 hours! Heavenly!!!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Ashton's Heir Day



Well today marks a joyous occassion. Today was Ashton's gotcha day...now affectionally referred to as Ashton's Heir Day. The day Ashton officially became a Gjerde and as Olav likes to say...an Heir to the Gjerde throne/empire. Or as I like to joke...the day Ashton officially became a tax deduction!

It was really nice, both Ashtons' birth parents were there, as well as Pop Pop and Lily.

We are so thankful to God for His amazing providence in our lives!

In other news Ashton is growing really well! At his 2 month check up last Friday, he weighed 10.5 lbs and was 22 inches long. He is really moving up in the height percentiles! He moved up to the 50% percentile. I think he is going to be tall and thin like his birth father.

I loved Ashton the day he was born, but I find myself falling more and more in love with him each day! It's so cool how he knows me now! It just melts my heart! If he is crying in someone elses arms and then I hold him, almost every time he immediately calms down. Also Ashton is beginning to smile. It is sooo cute! He also is trying to roll over...Olav said he did, but I missed it!

What a blessing it is to enjoy these stages with him!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Update

Well we survived the revocation week! Yeah! According to my attorney she mailed our homestudy to the court on Monday and we should hear back from the court in about two weeks a court date to finalize the adoption.

I tell you, I am still pinching myself. Who I am Lord, that your are mindful of me! I just can't believe you have given me the gift of a newborn infant.

Baby A. is doing great! He is getting sooo big! I love when he tries to maneuver his hands into his mouth. He has a new nickname. Grunt! When he was smaller he barely cried or made a sound, now 5 weeks later he grunts all the time!

Baby A. and his parents completed their first huge parenting milestone and went family tent camping on a damp, wet, and windy weekend in Lancaster, PA. Hopefully our next trip will have better weather, but we had fun nonetheless!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Good news so far this week!

I am praying that the good news continues!

First of all, Mother's Day was lovely! I loved every minute of it. It ended up just being bm and us, but it truly was a delightful day! I think she enjoyed it too! Thank you Jesus for your providence! It was a big reminder to me that most of what I worry about never happens...so I really need to stop worrying!!!

Next, yesterday we finally received the results of the sweat test. Joyfully, baby a. does not have CF!!! Praise God!!!!

Today baby a. went to the doctor for his 1 month check up. He is doing great! He gained about 2 lbs and 2 inches. He now weights 7 lbs and 10 oz and is 20 3/4 inches! Praise God!

Tommorow is the big day. Lord I pray that you give our birthmother an overwhelming sense of peace. I pray against any anxiety that may try to disturb her soul. Lord I pray you will surround her with lots of love and support. Encourage her, uphold her, let her feeling your loving arms wrap around her.

Lord guard my heart as well. Please protect me from anxiety creeping in. Give me too an overwhelming sense of your peace. Amen

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Praying through my anxiety











Up until now I have felt relatively calm and peaceful about everything...but the last two days or so, I feel the anxiety creeping in at night while I am sleeping in the form of nightmares. Two nights ago it was about the results from the CF sweat test and last night it was about the bm changing her mind.


Lord I really want to lift this upcoming day and week to you. I want have faith that regardless of the outcome you are supreme overall.


First, I want to lift up today with our bm, her husband and her daughter. Lord, is some ways I am glad her entire family is going to join us to celebrate mother's day, but their is a small part of me that fears this is some kind of mean trick. Like she is going to convince her husband to revoke on her behalf and they decide to raise the child together. After all both bm, husband, and bio father all have revocation dates next week. Lord, I lift today up to you. I ask for a hedge of protection against any thoughts husband might have to take baby a. away. I pray that our time today is filled with fun, fullness, and joy. I pray that as we spend the day together, everyone involved will be overwhelmed with a sense of deep peace that baby a. is where he is supposed to be.


Next, I am anxiously anticipating the results of the sweat test on Monday. Lord I know I can't change the outcome. Of course like the nurse who did the sweat test, I claim in Jesus' name that he is free and clear of CF, but also knowing that we will love him and care for him regardless of the outcome. Lord give me peace while we are waiting for the results.


Lord as we are waiting for the results I do find myself anxious about the what ifs....What if he has CF...how will I tell bm and bf. Lord help me to live in the present moment. To not be anxious about anything, but rest and trust in you.


This upcoming week will be one full of anticipation and anxiety...


Monday is the results of the sweat test. Wednesday is the last day of revocation for bm. Thursday is the last day of revocation for bm's husband. And Friday is the last day of revocation for bf.


Once again Lord, I pray you fill our bm with an overwhelming sense of peace as Wednesday rolls around. Surround her with the love and support she needs to "survive" the day. Lord help me not to fret or worry...fill me with a sense of peace...for I know your ways are not my ways...thank you in advance for your faithfulness.


Lord for Thursday, I just pray that it really isn't an issue. I pray that it comes and goes without much notice. I pray for bm husband. I pray that search his heart and make it clean in thought and motive.


Lord, originally I hadn't been nervous for bf, but I find myself increasly nervous not because of him, but because of his mother. Since she called my lawyer last week, I have the fear that she will talk her son into revoking the adoption so that she can raise baby a. In some ways Lord I can see how a spiritual battle could be raging. Lord I pray that all the things I am fearful of...are just that...silly fears that I have let enter my mind. Lord I pray that you are sovereign. That you will make your sovereignty known.


Thank you Lord for allowing me to spill my yuckis before you...Lord help me to rest in you...to look up to you....to have my hope and faith in you. Lord I want to believe that this is all going to work out "my way". But Lord, I know I have to put my trust in you...and know that regardless of the result...you are ultimately in control. Let me rest in that.


Amen

Thursday, April 28, 2011

One hell of an evening...

Where to start...

I'd gotten wind that birthmother was really struggling with her decision to choose adoption for Ashton. We had done our best to be understanding and loving through her storms.

This evening I received a text from our birthmom asking us if we hated her? Confused I texted back ????? She responded because how she felt about the adoption. I told her I was unaware of how she felt about the adoption and perhaps she wanted to share.

Of course she was terrified, but she shared with me how torn she was. How she wanted to parent, but no one else agreed with her. While I couldn't give her an answer I listened to her, told her we are holding Ashton with open hands, and prayed with her.

After I got off the phone with her I contacted my lawyer with no luck. So I left a message. Then, I then contacted our birthmom's lawyer. Basically her lawyer told me that she thought our birthmom had made up her mind to revoke the adoption. Although at the time I was unaware that she had already drafted a letter of revocation to be filed in the courts sometime next week. I asked her lawyer how much time she could "string us along" so to speak..if she wanted to parent her child, please let her just make the decision and let's be done with it. Her lawyer agreed and told me she would contact our birthmother later tonight.

Of course devastated on soooo many levels I called my dear friend Colleen. As I was crying out for my mommy while talking with her, I received an odd call from the Pediatric Center, where both Lily and Ashton go to the doctors. Dr. C a doctor we had seen when Ashton was several days old called to tell me that their is a probability that Ashton may have cystic fibrous. He had two abnormal screens come back indicating abnormally high chloride levels. While these test can produce a false positive, she requested that I take him to either John Hopkins or Children's hospital to have a sweat test done.

Shortly after this, I receive another text from bm...with my mental state, I tell her the only thing I can do at the moment, but tell her to hold on.

Well at this point you can only imagine my mental state...first, I am told that child I have been parenting for the last 2.5 weeks will likely be returned to his birthmother and secondly that their is a chance that this child may or may not have cystic fibrous...and then i get a new text from bm wanting to ask me another question,,,all within a 15 minute time period!

Right after I get off the phone with the pediatrician, and I am talking briefly to my dear friend C. My lawyer calls...Gosh how I love her! She has a righteous anger on our behalf. BM wants to parent her child and maintain her relationship with us. While we wouldn't hate her, I would find it difficult to have the same level of intimacy with her as we do now. Furthermore, she agrees, that if bm wants to parent, let her do it tommorow...not drag it out. Lastly adding to the fact that their may be some this big health issue, I don't want to spend all this emotion, time,and energy on the cystic fibrous diagnosis if she would like to parent him. Sometimes, even in the darkness it is nice to have someone on your side! I told her about the call from the pediatrician and the texts from bm. She instructed me to text bm back and ask her what her question was...while on the phone with my lawyer I did not receive a text back.

Our lawyer advised to stay chill, we would have a resolution in the morning and try to get some rest. LOL!

20 minute later I receive a text from our bm...it read the following:

My lawyer answered it (the question) for me, but thank you. But I've decided to just go ahead with the adoption, I need to accept it and move on. I'm lucky to have you guys, the openness and he is just better off with you.

30 minutes later I receive this text from our bm lawyer stating:

Just got a text from bm. She decided to go forward with the adoption after all. I think writing out the revocation made her face the reality of what she was about to do. She says she is ready to move on. I did not tell her about the cystic fibrous scare yet. I will discuss all with your lawyer in the morning.

I think I need a valium! Oh wait...I have a feeding in 2.5 hours!

Love,
Kim

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Ready or Not...here comes Ashton Taylor!

Well so much for denial....reality has been a whirlwind! On Friday afternoon birthmom called and told me she had been to the doctors earlier that day for her regular monitoring for the cholestatis. They told her she was having contractions every 3-5 minutes and was a tight 3 cm dialated, so they recommended she call her doctor at Hopkins. They suggested she come in. We arrived around 4 or 5 p.m. They hooked her up to the monitors. After a frustrating couple of hours, they said that she was only 25% effaced and her cervix was high and still only a tight 3 cm. dialated. They sent all of us home. Telling her that it was pre-term contractions and she could possible experience this for several more weeks. They did advise her that if she continued to be uncomfortable, she could go to her local hospital to have them check her and if they thought she was progressing and it was safe to transfer her to Hopkins than they would.

So saturday morning, birthmom continued not to feel good. She went to her local hospital, they told her she was now 4 cm and her contractions had continued. She had thought maybe her water had broken They took some tests to see if her water had broken and they all came back positive. While the doctor wasn't 100% sure her water had broken,the midwife felt that it had. Once again we traveled down to John Hopkins. We arrived around 5 or 6 p.m. Once again they hooked her up to the monitors. She remained at 4 cm and continued to have contractions. They tested to see if her water broke...and again the tests were inconclusive. Around 10 or 11 pm bm decided to go for a walk. The walk did it! While her water didn't fully break, it was finally evident when they did the second batch of tests that it had a tear. That meant baby was coming in 24 hours! That night bm, me and bm mother all got some rest! They hooked birth mom up to potossin and then we waited til morning to see what the day brought.

Sunday was such an exciting day...bm went from 4 cm dialated and 90% effaced to completely ready to deliver! The doctors came in and taught bm how to push and told her that she had some work to do and they would come back in 3 or 4 hours. Boy were they wrong. Tweleve pushes later...Ashton Taylor entered the world! How awesome was it to watch his birth! When I first learned that I would get to be present at his birth...I thought...oh no...what if I pass out...I didn't want to make a scene! I even watched a couple of deliveries on you tube so I won't be totally shocked. I have to say it was one of the most awesome things I have had opportunity to witness! I could of kept watching it over and over...REPLAY...REPLAY...of course I am sure bm...would not say the same! Absolutely nothing grossed me out at all!

Ashton came into the world on Sunday April 10th at 9:49 a.m. He weighed 5lbs and 15 oz. He was approxmately 19 inches long. Of course I am biased...but he is truly a beautiful child!

Bm and I spent 2 precious days in the hospital together. It was so precious. In some ways I didn't want it to end. My prayer is that God will bless our bm beyond measure in her life!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My walls of denial are crumbling!

Up until recently I think I have been living in disbelief and denial. Now with the high probability that the due date will be moved up several weeks, my walls of denial are crumbling! I am realizing that holy batman...we are going to have a baby in our house very shortly and we are soooo not ready on so many levels!!!! I guess that is what happens when you have less than 6-8 weeks to prepare:)

Please pray for us. Please pray for our birth mother. Pray that she will remain steadfast in her decision. Pray that grief that she will experience not overwhelm her. Pray for the health of her unborn child. Please pray for us as we prepare mentally and emotionally. Ask that God provide us with the wisdom and knowledge we need for the baby's delivery and beyond.

Many thanks!

Monday, April 4, 2011

I love John Hopkins and Quickest Gestational Period Ever

Can I just say how much I love John Hopkins. They are such an awesome and attentive hospital! While they told us the results would take over a week, they called our birth mom today with the results of her the liver bile test. Unfortunately as suspected the test did come back positive. She is suffering from cholestasis. 1 to 2 pregnancies in 1000 are affected by cholestasis. Women with cholestasis should be monitored closely and serious consideration should be given to inducing labor once the baby’s lungs have reached maturity. Which my understanding somewhere around 36-37 weeks. Considering that she was at 33.5 weeks, we have our next follow up in two weeks, I wouldn't be surprised that they give her steroids to help get the baby's lungs ready and then induce her. I tell you...if that is the case...that will be the quickest gestational period ever for us!

Please pray for the health of our birth mother and her unborn child.

Thanks
Kim

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Download!

Wow so much to catch up on!

First let me say I always imagined that I'd have this huge family built through adoption, but now after going through this process a second time, I have decided it is not for the faint of heart. It is so easy to let fear creep in and not live in faith. I have to constantly remind myself to keep my eyes on God and have no fear...but man...tough stuff...

I had been stressing out since I hadn't heard back from our birthmom regarding her choice of lawyer...of course my mind went to "end of job". Finally today we after 2 weeks we finally got some resolution. And guess what the sticking point was???? Her parents wanted to her to select an attorney based on how much it would cost us. Meaning an attorney closer to the hospital would cost us less than attorney locally. So esssentially they wanted to save us some money. And here I was worried for many days that the adoption plan had changed!

I received a text from our birthmom ealier this week that she went to the ER wed night. Apparently she went into premature labor. She was having contractions about every minute. They gave her some medication procardia to relax the smooth muscles and stop the contractions and sent her home to rest.

Friday we went to Hopkins for her check up. She is currently 33.5 weeks pregnant. She is measuring 35 weeks. I got to listen to the heartbeat again. That is my favorite! Of course I forgot my cell phone so I couldn't record it!

While there she complained about being insanely itchy. They are now testing her for Obstetric Cholestasis. OC carries an increased risk of premature labor, fetal and maternal hemorrhaging, fetal distress, and most importantly, stillbirth. Basically the liver is producing bile, that gets into the baby's bloodstream and is potentially toxic to the baby. Those test results will come back in approximately one week. If a formal diagnosis is made our birthmom will have to go for 2x a week testing a Hopkins to ensure the health and well being of the baby. While the doctor did not tell us, the information I found on the internet is that in cases like this the baby is typically induced earlier( (36-37 weeks) to prevent stillbirth. These are the days I am really glad she is going to Hopkins and getting such great care.

One of the tests they gave her was a 20 plus minute monitoring of the babies heartbeat, activity, and if birthmom was experiencing any contractions. So far the baby is doing well. I am eager for her to get the rest of the test results! Pregnancy is truly amazing and complicated!

After her appt. we meet with the social worker and the labor and delivery nurse to come up with a birthing, hospital stay, and discharge plan. Some of the items we discussed are really cool. The birthmom has requested that both her mom and I are present at delivery! I hope I don't pass out!!!!! The thing I am a little unsure of is the post birth and the discharge should it not happen during a weekday.

After the birth she requested the baby be in the room with her and I would stay in the room with her and take care of the baby. She said she choose this because she wants to save us money, but it makes me really uneasy. I am uneasy about this on mulitple levels as you can imagine. So hopefully we can all receive some good counsel and this issue will be resolved.

Also if they baby is born during the weekddays M-R...discharge of the baby from the hospital is no big deal. But if discharge occurs on any other day things are a little more complicated. My understanding is that legally the hospital has to discharge the baby to the birthmom...then once we leave hospital property she can "hand over" the infant. That seems so tramautic on so many levels. I too pray that this issue will be resolved as well.

One thing that really occured to me while spending the day with her is the disparity in adoption. On the one hand, you've got the ultimate gift of love. A birth mother choosing life for her unborn child and choosing adoption knowing that they cannot adequately care for them. Adoptive parents eager to embrace this beautiful life and love them like they borne them. On the other side, you have the loss and grief. The grief the birthmother will feel when she actually relinguishs her child. The grief the adoptive parents feel on behalf of the birthmom, knowing how very difficult it must be to make that choice and follow through with it. Not to mention any of the loss and grief the child will experience in life. In a perfect world there would be none of this. I was senstive to the issues when we adopted Lily, but I wasn't as close to it.

Many friends and family have offered advice regarding what an open adoption should look like. My prayer is that God will direct our steps and we will be able to create an open adoption plan that everyone involved can agree on and will serve all parties.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support!

Kim

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

More undeserved grace

Lord, once again I ask you...who are we that you are mindful of us.

We had another undeserved grace bestowed up us last night. I am still having a difficult time accepting it.

As many of you know our first adoption with Lily cost nearly 3 times the expected amount. So many people helped us financially, emotionally and spiritually. So much so, that never in this lifetime would we ever be able to repay everyone. However there was debt to one generous helper that we had been working really hard to pay off. We had managed to pay off nearly 1/2 of the debt. Well last night that debtor informed us that our debt was clear and that they did not want anymore money from us. They wanted us to have the money so we could pursue this adoption and any unexpected/expected expenses that may occur. What an amazing blessing! Once again, I am having a difficult time wrapping my head around this undeserved grace.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Visit to John Hopkins

Today I spent the day with our birthmother, taking her down to John Hopkins to meet with a specialized ob-gyn. Even though we have been acquainted with her , it was really nice to really begin to get to know her more intimately. She is a very lovely young woman.

While at Hopkins, with the counsel of the physican, she determined that due to some personal risk factors she will plan to transfer her care to Hopkins and actually deliver the baby there! The awesome thing about that, is originally she was told she would have to have a C-section due to previous medical history, but at Hopkins she will have a choice to deliver vaginally if she so desires. I think for her long term child bearing dreams that would definitely be the best for her. I wouldn't want her to choose adoption for this child and then not be able to have any more children in the future.

I have to admit that does make me nervous because what if she changes her mind. My sister told me it is one thing to have a baby surgically removed from you, it's a whole other thing to labor through and push that baby out of you. But I have to remember to submit myself to God and realize whatever the journey, He will be next to me. But I must say, Lord please keep her steadfast in her decision.

I just wish there was someway that this adoption could be a win-win for everyone. That the birthmother doesn't have to lose, so another family can gain. I would love to talk with anyone who has experienced different degrees of open adoption. On the one hand, I feel like she is my niece and her family is our extended family, but not really sure what that would look like in an open adoption.

The most awesome part today was being able to see the baby via sonogram and hear his heart beat! Absolutely amazing!!!! Our birthmom took the pictures home to show her mother, but she said she would give them us to afterward. That would be super awesome, but I don't want her to feel like she has too.

Anyway please continue to lift her up in prayer. Pray for her health. Pray that the rest of her pregnancy is uneventful. Pray that she remains steadfast in her decision to choose adoption for this child. Pray for her emotions and any sadness or grief she may experience. I just want to protect her from that.

Pray for us as we anxiously anticipate the time. Give us a sense of peace and calm as we go through the homestudy process. I have found myself nervous about the financial risk and the potential to lose it all. Again, I need to commit my fears to God.

Thank you Jesus, for your divine intervention in our lives. Help me to fear not (Isaiah 41:10).

Love,
Kim

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Who are we that your are mindful of us?

Lord who are we that you are so mindful of us? I simply cannot wrap my head around it.

First let me start with some history.

A while back, I remember praying to God about having another child. I remember he said to me, "someday you will have a baby". Of course I literally took that to mean that "I" Kim Gjerde would actually conceive and give birth to a child. Not that I don't believe that might never happen, although honestly the whole idea of it makes me really nervous. Never in a million years did I imagine what is happening now.

Olav and I have always wanted more children in our home. We love Lily dearly, I didn't want her to grow up all alone and we just felt like we had more to give to a child. However another adoption domestic or foreign was out of the question due to financial restraints. Olav always said that we could not go through the pain of adoptng again, unless the child landed on our doorstep.

We had talked about foster care, but I was really uneasy. We had already gone to the classes previously and I left in tears, having flashbacks to when I had custody of Lily and I was fearful they were going to take her away from me. In November, we spoke with a foster mom and she encouraged us to look into it. She said that God gives her the strength she needs to handle those difficult times. Plus she had this beautiful african american baby girl that just melted my heart and I thought, why not try.

So in a huge leap of faith Olav and I decided to take the classes to become licensed as foster care parents. While still super nervous, I felt like I personally was in a much better place emotionally than I was when we signed up to take the classes previously.

The classes were great. We learned ALOT through them. While taking the classes, awesome things started to happen. First we got a phone call from our friend who mentioned that a local family whom had adopted from China was considering offerring the child up for readoption. Of course we told our friend we would be interested. Next we got a phone call from another friend who mentioned that their brother and his girlfriend are expecting a child and that adoption may be on the table for discussion. Of course we said that we would be interested. We couldn't believe it! While we were considering foster care and adopting through foster care, we weren't actively seeking or expecting anyone to contact us about a possible adoption.

Fast forward to this past tuesday...

We receive an email from a young mother whom we know asking us if we would considering adopting again!

As you an imagine the answer was an resounding YES!

Immediately we contacted our adoption lawyer who was extremely helpful in helping us bring Lily home and finalizing her adoption and asked her how this all works and how much something like this costs. Remarkably the fees for this adoption will be exactly or less than we will be receiving back on our tax refund from the IRS, with whom we had just completed less than a day or two before!

So we set up to meeting with the birthmother and her family on Saturday night.

Prior to the meeting we did not know the gender of the baby. However thursday morning while Olav was having his quiet time he was reading the passage in Judges where an angel of the Lord appears to Samson's parents (pre-Samson of course) and tells them they are going to have a child. Olav heard God tell him that the unborn baby will be a boy. He emailed me at work and told me we were having a boy! Of course when I got the email, I screamed with excitement. I even ran upstairs and told my good friend that we were having a boy. Of course at that time I didn't know that he hadn't been told by the birthmother, but by God. But I must say one thing about Olav...when God speaks to him, he really speaks to him, so I believe him!

So fast forward this past Saturday night, we go to meet with the birthmother and her family. I was so totally expecting to be interviewed, screened, scrutinized etc. But no...they said that they wanted us to be the adoptive parents for this child. Holy moly!!!!! And guess what....the baby is a BOY!!!!! and he is due on May 18th. Less than 2 months away!!!!! Oh my goodness....Lord who are we that your are mindful of us!!!!!!!

So tommorow I get to go with the birthmom to John Hopkins to visit with a specialized ob gyn to see if the birthmom might need to deliver there due to her personal health issues or if she can go to her local hospital. On tuesday I get to go with her for the sonogram. I get to see our son! She even has invited us to the hospital for when she gives birth. We won't be able to be in the room with her because she has to have a c-section, but we will be able to see the baby in the nursery and do all the things first time parents get to do!!!!! Needless to say I am super excited and feel really at peace.

I do ask you to pray for the birthmother. While she says she is confident in her decision and seems unwaivering, I pray that all those pregnancy hormones don't trip her up. Pray for her health and the baby's health.

Lastly, I know many of you might want to know why she is choosing adoption or why she choose us so late in the game...and why we know these answers, we don't want to share them as to protect her. Furthermore, we know that all things work out for the good who love him.

Thank you for taking this new journey with us! I pray that it will be peaceful and rather uneventful and that God's amazing providence, power, and might will be shine brightly for all those who know any of the parties involved might see.

With much love,
Kim